i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
