this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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