Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
