First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
