Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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