I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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