so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize