After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i've created a new STD.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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