It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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