She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this will be a night to untag.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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