She is in my trunk
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
