AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
