what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
