Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
