My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
