just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
