dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
