My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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