If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
