): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize