Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
