If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize