I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize