when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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