You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
