if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
