one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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