it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
