i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
