he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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