so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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