I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
