is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
