He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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