let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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