biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
