well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
