I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
