i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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