apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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