just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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