the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
