What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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