carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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