hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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