My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
