I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
