hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fuck appropriateness.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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