i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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