i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
