i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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