tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
