Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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