I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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