so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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