Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
