Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
