ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
