omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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