i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
