If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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