whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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