that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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