Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do herpes really smell.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
