They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
