oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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