you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
