Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
