He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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