no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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