Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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