Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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