You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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