I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
