have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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