Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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