hotel room ftw
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the day after is always just damage control
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize