tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
