Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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